3 years later...

... I am Married
... I live in Vancouver, Canada
... finished my MBA
... looking for a job
... live in 1 room condo

not so bad...
or is it??

The Summary

....of my love life this year

Guy no. 1
Jesus Syndrome: he thinks that’s he’s here to help everyone and will try to become a martyr for greater good even though that means scarification from the people he loves.
Well honey you ain't Jesus and your greater good is not my greater good. So ciao baby.

Guy no. 2
Peter Pan syndrome: he doesn’t want to grow up. He still wants to play with the Lost Boys and has Wendy to babysit him.
Uhm.. yeah… what about no.


Guy no. 3
Tragic Hero syndrome: a condition where he believes that he doesn’t deserve to love and be loved in return because he’s so fucked and he will drag everybody down with him.
Well, you know what they say. You will become what you believe. And sweetie, don’t take it personal. It’s not me. It’s you.

Guy no. 4
And now.. I’m reaching for the impossible.

Bad vs. Good Pick Up Line

First scenario:

+ : So waddya do this weekend?
++ : I watched Juno
+ : Haha.. bet you like it..
++ : I’m like in love with the whole vibe of the movie..How do you know?
+ : Because I know underneath that driven sexy career woman.. You’re still a Juno after all

Second Scenario:

+ : Wow.. did you see that girl? She’s hot man!!
++ : Haha… yeah..
She’s hot..
In a kinda…that you probably wanna marry then divorce her later..
But you…
Your hot is the one that starts wars




Any Judge around? Care to give a grade?
Simon? Paula?

Culture Education

What’s so Brazilian about waxing?
What’s so French about kissing?

Let’s make some sex lingo that shows our culture

We should make Javanese spanking
Balinese whip
And Chinese sex position chopstix style!

Negara Berkembang?

“Everything in this country is retarded”
Sambil menghentakkan kaki salah satu teman saya berkata seperti itu

“Strong comment” begitu dalam pikiran saya..

Jadi ingin mengulik apa arti dari kata-kata itu..

Retardation (wikipedia) is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills ("milestones") during childhood, and a significantly below-normal global intellectual capacity as an adult

Retard re·tard·ed (dictionary)
adj. 1. Often Offensive Affected with mental retardation.
2. Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed.

Hmm.. Jadi kurang lebih artinya keterlambatan pengembangan?

Menarik menarik…

Sesungguhnya saya adalah orang terakhir yang bisa berbicara ttg “retarded” ini..
Buktinya kehidupan saya yang baru 27 tahun ini membuat teman saya sempat berkata “Jen, your life is fuckin retarded. It’s like a movie waiting to be directed”

Beberapa hari yang lalu ketika saya dan teman-teman saya sedang berkumpul, beberapa teman pria saya mulai mendiskusikan masalah industry di Negara berkembang Indonesia ini. Setelah beberapa menit, sahabat wanita saya, God bless her heart, menengok ke arah saya dan berkata “Hey Jen, I’m bored. Let’s go shopping!” membuat saya berpikir “How far are we as a civilization?”

How far are we as a civilization apabila orang lebih mengenal Homer sebagai tokoh kartun di Homer Simpson daripada sebagai pengarang Greek poems Odyssey.
Atau dimana anak-anak membaca Crayon sincan daripada mengetahui sajak-sajak terkenal Chairil Anwar


And which one is more retarded, dimana perempuan dahulu berjuang mati-matian demi kebebasan belajar dan memilih.

Tapi sekarang mereka malah memilih menghabiskan waktu dan uang berjuta-juta demi kecantikan mereka.

Banyak wanita yang saya jumpai percaya.. dan benar-benar percaya bahwa hidup mereka akan bahagia once they meet the right man and get married.
Pernikahan it’s a whole other problem to begin with ..

Dan terbayangkah beban pria-pria itu bertanggung jawab atas kebahagiaan wanita-wanita ini?

Maka saya tidak heran apabila salah satu mantan saya berkata “Life’s a bitch. Then you marry one” and for the record, dia baru saja membatalkan pernikahannya

Salah satu sahabat wanita saya tidak pernah mengetahui bahwa Presiden AS menyatakan perang kepada Irak.

Dia juga yang pernah dengan wajah bingung bertanya kepada saya “Emang Hindu ama Buddha beda ya Jen?”

Suatu waktu, saya pernah berkumpul bersama teman-teman dan mantan saya (yes. I have many ex. Shut up).

Ketika saya mulai berdiskusi tentang salah satu dasar pemikiran seorang filsafat. Mereka dengan terheran-heran melihat saya.

Dan mantan saya, sambil memegang pundak saya berkata, “She likes to read.”

Seolah-olah menjelaskan mengapa saya, sbg wanita mengetahui hal-hal seperti itu..

G O O D N E S S

Hey, Yesus berkata “let he who have no sin cast the first stone”

I’m as bad as the others.. Saya menghabiskan 15 menit setiap hari membaca halaman depan koran dan mempercayai dengan hal tersebut sudah mampu membuat saya wanita yang bisa carry an intelligent conversation.

I should be shot and put to sleep..

And yes, I have my sins as well.

I spend way too many hours in front of mirror dan mempunyai pelbagai produk guna mendukung kecantikan saya yang memang pas-pasan ini.

Dan lihatlah kembali tulisan saya ini yang bercampur baur dengan bahasa inggris ini. Pramudya Ananta Toer pasti mencaci saya.. kok tidak bangga dengan bahasa ibu saya sendiri ini.. Padahal bahasa Indonesia disebutkan sebagai salah satu bahasa yang paling mudah dipelajari..

Membuat saya mengambil kesimpulan.. Yes. Maybe everything in this country is retarded. And that retardation is starting by no other than us

Lose A Battle, Winning The War

Whoever said that is not raise as a woman in Indonesian-Chinese family

Because no matter what you say, do or act

They make sure you loose the war, the battle or all over

And you are left w/ few thousand dollars medical bills to the shrink that trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you

You, Me and Poke Sushi

Disclaimer: utk yg membaca ini dan di juga berada di tempat pembicaraa, mohon maaf karena byk yg disensor dan disingkat demi melindungi pihak-pihak yg tidak bersalah

+: Oh.. loe juga baru putus?

++: Iya..sekitar 2 minggu juga

+: oh. Udh berapa lama jadiannya?

++: 4 tahun

+: Weleh.. beban loe lebih berat kayaknya ya.. kenapa putus?

++: Dia nyeleweng

+: Oops.. (dgn sok diplomatis nya berpikir that everybody deserve their own happiness and trying not to be judgmental) ya udah lah.. just try to get over her..

++: Dia minta balik..

+: Oh ya? Trus? Everybody make mistake you know..

++: And you? You made your mistakes?

+: hahaha.. you’re kidding me? Loe pikir menu di restaurant loe ini sudah cukup panjang dan bervariatif? Loe belum lihat daftar dosa gw aja.. mencukup dengan appetizers and desserts bo..

++: (senyum) Bukannya gitu.. yg dia selewengin bikin sakit bgt..

+: Emang siapa? Bawahan loe? Temen loe? Your brothers? (oh my god) Jangan2 bokap loe?

++: Gila loe!! Maksud loe? (melotot)

+: Loh ya.. yah ga tau.. abis loe bilang semua engga.. siapa lagi donk? (tiba-tiba teringat sesuatu).. Jangan-jangan.. sesama kelamin ya?

++: (menghela nafas) Yoi..

+: (uncomfortable silence that only both sides can interpret) Dang Dude.. Nama selewengannya siapa?

++: C***

+: Anjrit… G kenal ama tuh orang.. (langsung ngakak).. Bo.. percaya deh ama gw… kl pacar loe nyeleweng ama org kayak gitu ga worth it bgt loe pikirin..

++: Kok loe bisa ngomong gitu?

+: Just believe me ok.. I’m telling you as a friend..

++: Kayaknya loe banyak skeleton in the closet nih..

+: And between my one-time-launch dresses and unworn shoes, I’m surprised that it actually still fit in my closet..

After 27 years of denial
5 years of therapy
And too many issues to count
It finally comes true…

I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER….
(can somebody say yikes?)

AA Meeting

Counselor: So tell us what happened..

Participant: I just never believed it.. I never thought I do it more than other people.. I always thought this is what everybody do.. I...

Counselor: It’s ok.. You can share it here.. This is the safe circle..

Participant: My friends have been telling me about this… That I should be careful.. That I have a problem.. But I always deny it and never actually believe them..

Counselor: That’s called self-denial.. Now the next step is to accept it and works toward recovery..
Why don’t you start by telling us what happened..

Participant: OK.. After 3 weeks of lack of sleep I have another sleepless night. So I decided to watch some DVDs.. and one of the DVD was bothering me.. it wasn’t in order. So I .. I …

Counselor: (encouraging tone) Go on..

Participant: I start arranging them.. then suddenly I just black out. The next thing I know, 6 hrs later, I rearrange all my DVDs, CDs, books and comics..by alphabet, genre, and numbers(sobbing).
I spend 6 hours!!

Counselor: (holding the participant hand) Is that all?

Participant: (sobbing even harder) no! I even rearrange my shoes, clothes and underwear according to the colors and length..

Others: (gasp)

Counselor: Ok… So now are you ready to embrace it? Are you ready to accept and admit it?

Participant: (tried to stop crying) Yes.. I think I do..
Hi everybody, my name is Jennifer and I’m anal…

Who Wants To Be A Superhero?

My power will be to fly and disappear and read someone thoughts



I will be immune to broken hearts and loneliness



My costume is a cloak and an armor to protect my heart

Ga ngerti gw..

Udah berkali-kali patah hati

Kok masih ga kebal-kebal juga ya

Where's the superhero ability when you need one?

SAJAK BODOH

Layaknya remaja ting ting
Aku termangu olehmu
Dalam piringku pun ada kamu

Layaknya remaja ting ting
Cengar cengir sendiri seperti kerbau
Bahkan Garfield pun tersenyum melihat aku

Tentu saja sekarang sudah bukan remaja lagi
Kisah kisah Romeo Juliet sudah tidak ada lagi
Sepasang remaja yang niat mati demi cinta
Aku sih tidak niat mati demi cinta

Tapi aku ingin berjuang
Berjuang demi cinta
Berjuang demi kamu

Kalau merek sport terkenal bisa bilang “impossible is nothing”
Aku juga ingin mencoba
Khayalak bilang cinta kita mustahil
Tapi Adidas bilang “impossible is nothing”

Geblek. Ga pake otak. Sedeng.
Mungkin. Mungkin banget.
Tapi ah.. apa rasanya dunia apabila kita tidak sedikit bodoh?
Seperti masakan Amerika yang saosnya itu itu saja
Kita orang Indonesia paling hebat meracik bumbu
Saya cina. Kamu Jawa..
Kalau dicampur siapa bilang tidak enak?

Mungkin saya akan menangis setahun kemudian
Mencaci dan memaki diri
Tapi ah.. setidaknya saya sudah berjuang
Kata orang pamali
Apabila sudah menyerah kalah sebelum berperang
Jadi apapun hasilnya itu saya tetap akan di garis depan
Kayak Joan D’arc saja
Pahlawan wanita yg harus selalu di depan garis depan
Buktinya dia mati dibakar hidup-hidup

Maafkan sajak aku yang bodoh ini
Terinspirasi oleh “Surat Cinta” yang ditulis oleh Putu Wijaya
Lugas, polos tanpa tendeng aling aling
Dia menyuarakan cinta dengan lantang tanpa “jaim"
Tampaknya dia tidak tahu “Image is Everything”
Buku re-branding saja dijual dimana-mana

Tampaknya dia ga ngerti jaman sekarang harus jual mahal
Tapi mungkin cinta yang dia suarakan hanyalah ilusi dan bayangan
Dan aku berterima kasih karena sajak bodoh ini aku tujukan dengan kongkrit
Dengan bayangan Satria Arjuna ku
Hahaha.. tentu saja kamu jauh dari Arjuna
Tapi aku juga bukan Dewi Khunti apalagi Cinderella
Aku tidak butuh diselamatkan oleh pangeran
Berilah aku perisai dan pedang
Kukira akan cocok digabung dengan panah dan kerismu
Two heads are better than one right?
Dan 2 pejuang mungkin akan menang melawan perang ini

Perang yang hanya diciptakan oleh manusia
Karena aku tidak ingat kapan malaikat Mickhael dikirim oleh Tuhan untuk berperang demi agama
Dan aku tidak ingat kapan malaikat Gabriel dikirim untuk memberitakan kaum mana yang benar dan mana yang salah

Pramudya Ananta Toer pasti tersenyum melihat kisah kita
Kisah si Minke tiba-tiba menjadi nyata
Jadi aku buat saja sajak bodoh ini
Tidak puitis, berirama atau mendayu-dayu
Sajak yang bodoh
Membahas sesuatu yang bodoh
Untuk perbedaan yang bodoh

Text Message of the week

“You might been right when you said that I’m just a boy… but you happened to be my most favorite amusement park. Met bobo non and I’ll stored your digital kisses and will claim all of ‘em when you’re around”

and baby..... skyline never looks so good

Sentence of the week..

What I miss most is your voice. ..

You should know that you lift my day whenever you call

Thank You...

For being you…


My itune list:
1. Always There Blueboy
2. Heartbeat Tahiti 80
3. I’m So Into You Tamia
4. Heartbeats Jose Gonzalez

5. You Give Me Something James Morrison
6. The Way You Look Tonight Tony Bennet
7. I’m Officially Missing You Tamia

as Sigmund Freud said “Everywhere I go I find that a poet has been there before me.”

Ethic vs Ego

++: The thing is you have your own idea of dating and so do I, and if one of these days I can't stand it anymore I will let you know that I want out of this.

+: Don't say thay Non. You scared me.. sound like I'm gonna loose you or something

++: I don't know babe. Let me ask my ego how long can he stand this





Another conversation, another day...

+: You know what, you should date other guys..

++: That's not right.. I don't date juggle. At least, not anymore.

+: Well, you two are not exclusive right

++: Well, yeah. Hold on. Let me ask my ethic will she allow me to do this.



An ego of a man.
A conscious of a woman.
An emotion of a neurotic woman.
An ambition of a big man.
And a sex drive like a canine.
Dude, no wonder I lost my identity a while ago.

Conversation of the month

+: are you still interested in s** *** g*****?

++: :). Why do you ask?

+: well, you haven't answered my question

++: I think I have the right to know the reason behind that question right?

+: you do..and i will. After you answer

++: I hv the right to ask first babe. For every statement has it consequences and I would like to know my consequences

+: you can take it like this. If you're into a healthy and serious relationship currently or in the near future, forget i have asked you about it.
+: I had my consequence also..

++: fair enough. Let me comment for each of your stats
++: if you're into a healthy and serious relationship >> Yes I am very much want to be into that kind of relationship
++: currently or in the near future >> how can you claim a relationship is healthy or not until proof otherwise
++: forget i have asked you about it >> your statements are ambiguous, and it left me wondering and pondering. Shall I forget it or do you still want the answer?
++: i had my consequence also.. >> so we both know there are some consequences on both sides.. who dare to take the first dip?

+: i think you already answer it : if you're into a healthy and serious relationship >> Yes I am very much want to be into that kind of relationship
+: it's no use anyway if i tell you..

++: haha.. there's the hidden keyword in it
++ Yes I am very much WANT to be into that kind of relationship but WANT ing and HAVING is 2 different thing

+: hahahaha. naughty naughty

++: you know me
++: so who's gonna take the 1st dip..
++: a perfect gentleman won't allow his lady to take the risk

+: the thing is..i never consider myself as a perfect gentleman

++: ah.. but I consider myself as a lady. so what to do?

+: hahahaa… Can I send you a song?

++: depends. does the song have the answer to your question?

+: ;)
+: sending.. Fall Down Lightly by VHS or Beta Band

and they say women talks in riddle

Note to self: don't date anymore DJ/aspiring writer

T R U E or F A L S E

What you don't know doesn't hurt you?

POKER

Dealer: Player no 1. New Cards?

Player no. 1: No new cards

Dealer: Bets?

Player no. 1: All in

Dealer: Player no. 2. What's your card?

Bayangan mata memantul dari pelupuk
Bola mata penuh janji menggiring senyum menenangkan
Rasa sayang yang menyeruak tanpa mengindahkan

Pergi kau logika

Pergi kau otak

Aku di sini untuk menjajah

Tangan ku meraup dalam kegelapan
Nafas mu membentuk embun di bibir ku
Ah.. bisikkanlah kartumu
Aku ingin tau

Stomach Flu

Your stomach twisted

You knees weakend

Your pulse race

Is this love or stomach flu?

Men is like toilet. If they are not occupied, they are full of shit

Some ex are like that fat in your thigh..

No matter how hard you try to get rid of them, they still somehow pop up between your leg

Some woman are like a one day milk. Damaged goods