The Verdict Is

Has the jury reach your verdict?
Yes your honor.
For the case of the Commonwealth vs Jennifer,
We find in favor of the plaintiff, and for the defendant to pay the damages of 5.760 community service


yeah yeah yeah yeah
Can we settle outside the court?
Who just died and made you Judge Judy anyway..

tapi bu...

ughhh... for the risk of being a total bitch..

UDAH DEH!!

I might be the youngest manager around here and giving you a hard time

tapi..

UDAH DEH!!!

ughhh

kesel

kesel

kesel

ahhh... blog

it's like a bestfriend ear

who needs a shrink when you can just voice your frustration here?

next, we'll do them to answer

"OK.. how does that make you feel?"

baby, you'll be perfect if you can produce a presciption for Valium

Counting The Days

For the last seven months:

2 sailings
7 exhibitions
3 socialites gathering
2 rave parties
1 play
3 indie concerts
22 days of not smoking (‘till today)
6 days of not swearing (‘till today)
Refuse to come home
1 huge fight with my parents
Make up with my parents
1 retreat
6 boxing classes (including kickboxing, self defense class, tae bo)
4 dance classes (including modern jazz dance, strip dance and hip hop dance)
1 yoga class
4 full days of cutting myself
1 day relapse
high bc of weed for the first time
Deep understanding of psychedelic
Realizations of V Channel subliminal messages
132 days sober
1 hell of agitated week
Lost one job
Gain one job
6 times out of city
3 times out of country
Organize one event
4 times interviewed by newspapers
7 times interviewed by magazines
1 time interviewed by TV
Changed my radio stations
Build an underground community
Yell at my boss
Yell at my subordinates
fire 2 people
hire 5 people


1 stolen kiss from my best friend
1 stolen kiss from my co-worker
1 confession from my best friend
Kiss a stranger
Pursued by one DJ
Pursued by one business man
Pursued by one spoiled brat
Pursued by one best friend
Pursued by 2 long time friend
Pursued by 3 business partners
Pursued by 1 sexually confused person
Pursuing one actor
Flirting with another 2 business partners
4 true friends revealed


1 heart broken
1 confidence destroyed
1 throne put away
1 pedestal lowered
1 broken heart sewn
1 smile born
1 life learned

Fuh… I got tired just by typing it
no wonder people give me spa vouchers

Angry Person

75% Angry

You're a pretty angry person, although you
might not describe yourself that way.But if you think about it, you probably
feel annoyed, frustrated, and disappointed often.All of the emotions above are
classic signs of anger.And if these angry feelings are controlling your life,
you may need help.

My suspicion is right!!!

God help me.


Like a baby with a stolen lollipop
Like a monkey with an itchy back.

I am an angry person.
God help me.

My skin is crawling with bugs
My heart is thumping and my breath is heavy
My hands is shaking and my pupil shrivel

10…

My forehead is sweating
And I bit my lips
I clutch my fist

9…

Thump Thump
Oh my heart
Drrrrttt…
My Hands keep shaking
God Help me

8…

I let the air go from my lungs
Salty Lips. Bleeding Lips
Oh yeah, I bit them

7…

I keep my hands away
Oh it’s vicious
Go away
Go away

6 ….

Rage
Rage
Rage
I let the air go from my lungs

5 …

My hand is shaking
I put them away
My heart is thumping
I let the air go
Bleeding lips
I let my tongue caress my lips

4 …

My pupil is dilated

3 …

God Help Me

2 …

I’m an Angry Person

1 …

The rage

Is

Gone

Being a Bitch is so 10 minutes ago

Friday night close to midnight

a neutoric girl and her bestfriend

Hellooo.....you will never run out of candidates. This is the thing though, you used to attract all kind of the wrong guys. Now, you attract all the right ones, you just don't like any of them. God help us

hahaha.... Easy babe..

Man, it was easier to have this job when you were a bitch. Now, you care about other people's feeling, I have to hold their hands everytime you shot them down while smiling like an angel. Angel of death kali....

hahahahaha.... But I was being nice!!!!! And I try really hard not to hurt their feelings and respect them. Mendingan kan?? As a return, I get their friendship instead..

Uh hmm... Jadinya kayak gini ini... pasti adaaaaaaa aja yg nimbrung nongkrong kl lagi jln berdua ama loe. Blm lagi tampang mereka pasti bete kalo loe deket2 gw...

Huahuahuaha.... loh... kok jadi emosi gt?.. here take another Shisha.. You know that's why I love you right??

Emotional Rollercoaster



Rollercoaster
Rollercoaster
Take me whenever your rail intended
Take me high high and I invincible
High high and I thought I will never fall
High High and I thought when I fall the rail will keeps me safe
Assumptions is the motherfucker of all mistakes they say
Regret will always come later they say
You don’t know what you have it ‘till it’s gone they say

Rollercoaster
Rollercoaster
Emotional Rollercoaster
Take me down down
Down down and you feel like your heart is left somewhere
Down down and you feel like you want to scream but you’re too scared to scream
Down down and you feel like your heart and your ears wants to explode
Down. There’s only one way. Up
Down. Don’t forget to look. Up

Rollercoaster
MY emotional rollercoaster
Take me up
Take me down
Take me whenever your rail intended
Down. Up.
Up. Down
Up. Up.
Down. Down
Close your eyes
Put the seat belt on
We Can’t Guarantee Your Safety
Enjoy

EASY RECIPE



Prep Time: 1 year
Cook Time: 1 day
Ready In: 2 weeks
Servings: 1 person only



DIRECTIONS:

Combine regret and brokenheart in the top of a crumpled bed, over boiling hell.
Reduce heat to low, and dwell on the pass for about 1 week, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat and whip yourself with self guilt until thick and your skin color and eyes changed.
Add jealousy to whipped self-respect. Beat until combined.
Gently fold and tear all your belonging into sherded mixture and set aside.
Cut your arms, hands and legs until you can't bleed no more, and line the bottom and sides of a large glass bowl.
Brush with alcohol.
Spoon half of the blood over the fingers. Repeat cutting, bruising and filling layers.
Garnish with punching and bitting.
Refrigerate several hours or overnight.

then wham.. there you go. An easy recipe to loose 6kg in 2 weeks.

Second Step:

Love Yourself before you can love the other

Be happy about yourself before you can share
Fullfill yourself before you let other fill you



Then..

You can move on

Then..

You will demand nothing from your lover..

Then...

You will be just grateful that the other person accept your love

Then...

You can love like you've never been hurt before..

Love is a many splendid Things

First Step:

Accept and Admit that you are an ASSHOLE!!!!!

There's no way of denying it
There's no way to work around it
There is no one else to blame
There is no justification
You just it!

Tag you're it!

I Just Got Married!!!

Well…. Sort of






It’s the same concept.


“For the rest of your fuckin miserable life”



Only this kinda commitment gives you more freedom
It’s not going to ask you to quit smoke
It’s not going to ask you to stop swearing
It’s not going to ask where you are and what you’re doing for every other hour
But MY commitment is a pain in the neck. Literally.

Well, I guess it’s given when you have a tattoo on the nape of your neck.
OH MY GOD! Is it painful or what?!!



Memoirs of Geisha quote that at their time, the man finds the sexiest part of women body is their nape of neck
Most men will confirm that they find the nape of a woman’s neck is very sexy
Why do you think doggy style is so popular?
Is that why I choose to have a tattoo there?
Maybe
Maybe Not
I don’t really give a fuck actually.

Cigarettes bums
Bitten lips
Whiskey bottles
Drench clothes
Unneeded scissors
Move on
Move on
Move on

All hands on deck don’t abandon the ship
You’ll never know what it could have been
All hands on deck my ship is sinking
Don’t let me go, Don’t let me drown

A step to the right to your own rhythm
And what comes next is up to you
And I need a miracle to save me from this
And I need the angels to all pray for me
I can’t believe you

Another day another worry
Breaks right through
And indecision bleeds me dry
He’s turning pages I’m not making for him
He’s painting pictures without me in mind
I can’t believe you

The long walks on Moon Light beach
The promises you could not keep
Your so contagious, Your so contagious
For all the world we did not see
For all the smiles you gave to me
They're so contagious, So contagious
So very fake

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to you

CONGRATULATION ON YOUR SECOND ENGAGEMENT !!!!

Few (weird) facts about Bali from Jen’s eye:

1. People wear their helmet everywhere. I mean it! Bahkan waktu jalan2 di Mall, mereka tidak melepas helm mereka. Aneh sekalii

2. Even though their main religion is Hindu, they have Buddha painting everywhere! What’s with that? It’s like I’m a Catholic and sells al’quran for a living.

3. The name of the streets is bizarre, example: Gang King Kong, Jalan Simpang Siur, Jalan Monang Maning, and many others. Next we know, they are going to have a street name Jalan Pusing Tujuh Keliling

4. Two main things in Bali that you will find in EVERY corner: Polo stores and Babi Guling restaurants.

5. In walking, watch out for persembahan/ sesajen and dog shit. Believe me, you don’t want to step on either two.

6. If Jakarta is the city of Malls, Cafes and Apartments. Bali is the city of furniture boutique, art stores, surf stores and restaurants/lounges.

7. Nama lain dari Bali besides Pulau Dewata is Khilaf Island!! Because many people, once in Bali jadi sering khilaf.. Serius gw!!

8. Bali survival guide in finding your way (according to Jen):

a. In addition to Kuta Square, your mark is statues! Since the statues are everywhere, it’s easier to mark them and finding your way.
b. Go get the BEAT magazines. It’s easier to find directions rather than using a map.
c. Do NOT ask directions from the local people. Mereka akan ngasih taunya pake.. “Yah, abis ini lurus trus ke arah Barat, abis itu ke arah Utara”. Huh???? What the? I’m not even sure that the sun sets in…??

and i wish the night would take me to another world

where no one knows a face or asks your name

In My Playground Love


1.Apa film yang pertama kali ditonton ?
++ ehhh.. Lupa. Tapi waktu itu dia niat bgt ngasih lihat LWord. hehe

2.Dimana tempat paling pewe bareng ?
++ inside our invinsible cloak, in my playground love

3.Apa yang bikin dia kesel ?
++ geez, dia adalah org tersabar sedunia yg pernah gw temuin.

4.Apa yang bikin dia seneng ?
++ music.. music...and music...

5.Apa yang dia suka dari lo ?
++ why don't we ask him together

6.Apa yang lo suka dari dia ?
++ For being the reason that I smile everyday, and my heart keeps beating w/ an endless blush

7.Apa kata-kata yang sering dia bilang ?
++ "idih2.."

8.Apa makanan kesukaannya ?++ bebek!

9.Sapa aja nama keluarganya ?
++ nama keluarga bukannya cuma satu yah?

10.Kalau lo___ dia itu apanya? (isi tmpt kosongnya)+
+ ini pertanyaan dangdut bgt sih..huahuaha..males bgt jawabnya

11.Apa gaya berpakaiannya?
++ after-fcuk look..hauahuah.. No lah. But he's just so cool

12.Dia udah pacaran berapa kali ?
++ hmm... Pacaran.. 8/9? Tau tuh, dia juga ga ingat. Have sex with? 34/35? Itu dia lebih ga inget lagih

13.Pacar lo dalam tiga kata adalah ?
++ punch drunk love

14.Apa kebiasaan jeleknya ?
++ juorokkkk..... coba deh, dibiasain mandi 2x sehari!!

15.Lo pengennya dia jadi lebih..?
++ ga lebih sih. Ganti religion, race, and..... (hehe) aja deh. Huhuuuu

16.Dia itu gampang ditebak atau susah ditebak ?

++ he's so readable

17.Tanggal pertama kali ketemu dan dimana?



**********************************


Sometime in the past and somewhere in Jakarta

12PM. X-lounge.

I’m so bored. I’m so bored. Man, kalo ini di film yg di direct Nugi, pasti kelihatan banget deh, gw sendirian di sini megang rokok, minuman, sambil berkaca2, sementara sekeliling gw orang2 lagi pada ketawa2, dance2.

Fuck. I need to get away from this. I feel ugly and worthless. Why did I let him do what he did to me for such a long time? Gw bener2 harus take it slow nih, this time. Now, cuma ini yang tertinggal. Another failed relationship.

I’m ugly. And I’m worthless.

Udah deh ah, drpd gw di sini feeling sorry for myself mendingan gw dance. Ayo Arie kita dance… Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance.

Oh My God.

Suddenly I can’t catch my breath.

Gw kayak mengalami a chick flick moment di mana semuanya bergerak in slow motion.

Oh My God. He is so….



Arie: HEH!!!!!!!!!! Ngeliatin aja…
Me: Sialan. Ngagetin aja loe.
Arie: I know what you are staring at. Go! Get him! I totally approve. Eh.. tunggu.. tunggu. Dia ada ceweknya man.. Tapi gampang lah, I actually know that almost every weekend dia hang out di Vertigo, munculnya jam 3an gituh. Entar kita cari dia lagi.
Me: Hehehe.. tau aja loe. Yup yup. No worries, I’ll get him eventually. You’ll just wait.



3:30 AM

Arie: Jen, balik yok. Gw udah cape nih.
Me: Ayuk deh. Tapi gw belon kenalan ama mahluk itu!! Mmm….. Gini deh rie, gw kasih kartu nama ama loe. Entar kalo loe ketemu lagi, loe kasih kartu nama gw ama dia!
Arie: Hah?! Loe gila?!! Don’t you think he’s going to think it’s a little bit weird, if I came up to him. Give him a name card and say “Hey, my best friend thinks you’re hot. Why don’t you give her a call sometimes?”
Me: Hahahaha.. OK.OK. I got your point. Let’s go then.


Waktu gw mau keluar , gw ngelihat dia lagi sendirian senderan di sofa. Kok tampangnya bete gitu? Wah, saat yg paling tepat to approach him nih, pas dia lagi sendirian. God, he’s so cute.

The crowd is getting lighter by the night. I could saw him standing alone. Cuek, gw jalan ke arah dia dan megang lengannya. Seperti dugaan gw dia langsung menurunkan kepalanya, then I whisper to his ear…… “Hey, I think you’re hot”…. Then I turn around and go home.

First move.



**************************



X Lounge. Somewhat a month later.



Me: Rie. Mana nih???? Udah sebulan gw kesini mulu nyariin tuh mahluk. Kok ga ada mulu? Kata loe dia sering kesini? Hiksss…. Ya sutra lahh
Arie: Mana gw tau? Biasanya emang dia kesini kok. Don’t blame me man, gw hanya menginformasikan.
Me: Ya udah deh. Gw udah patah arang nih. Mana duit gw udah abis nih… tiap kali kesini gw harus bayar Rp60ribu. Kereeee!!


****************


One small Recording Studio. One private party. One time later.



Me: Nugie, ayok… loe kan janji kenalin ke gw untuk kenalin ke sutradara yg waktu itu. Cakep bgt oi! Ayyokkk ayookkk.. gw pengen cepatan move on nih. Gw males mikirin eks gw mulu.
Nugie: Hayu deh… masuk dulu kali yak


Hari ini ada pesta di recording studio. Not too crowded, but not too empty either. Gw masih niat bgt nih nyari gebetan baru.. untuk ngelupain eks gw yg masih segar di memori gw. Niat pertama sih ngegebet sutradara muda itu, tapi…….. oooo.. dia ada ceweknya ya sutra lah. Aduhhh……… ngapain sih, si boboho ini sms melulu? Sudahlah…. Sudah.. Balik saja yak ke negara asal kamu, and stop sms ing me dirty sms!!!

Ada satu grup masuk. Gw ga merhatiin bgt sih, until…..

Oh Shit! Gw langsung nge grab Nugi’s arm

Me: Nug, itu cowok yg waktu itu.
Nugi: Apaan sih? Ga jelas bgt loe..
Me: Aduh oh iyah (kok gw jadi setengah linglung gini ya? Kan Nugi ga tau kisah gw yg waktu itu)

Oh God, I keep looking at him. Dia orang yg sama dengan yg di X lounge waktu itu ga ya? Aduh, jangan2 gw salah. Aduh, gw salting berat. I have to approach him. I have to. Dulu gw ampe nyari dia sebulan ga ketemu2. I can’t lose him again. Aduh, udah dia bareng temen2nya lagi. Males bgt gw samperin. Entar aja deh pas temen2nya ga ada.


Nah…. Dia pas lagi sendirian di bar.


Me: (gilaa… gw pede banget, gw coba dgn senyum seksi gw deh) Hey..
Him: Hey..
Me: (eh, dia jawab. Wah dia senyum… Lucu sekaliii) Can I ask you something?
Him: Sure.
Me: Do you go to X Lounge often?
Him: No, not really.
Me: (oh shoot, jangan2 gw salah org). O Ok. Did you go there a few weeks ago?
Him: Probably. Why?
Me: Do you remember there’s a girl that told you that you’re hot?
Me: (eh, mukanya berubah.. lucu sekali. Padahal tampak luarnya dia cool berat. Ternyata malu-malu gitu yah)
Him: I guess so.

One chit chat later

Me: (Wahh.. akhirnya dia loosen up juga ya setelah minum)
Him: So, you seem very young, how old are you?
Me: 24.
Him: Wah, masih muda sekali yah. Bintang apa?
Me: (What’s with the zodiac question?) Aquarius.
Him: Oo… berarti happy belated birthday then.
Me: Then….. you should give me happy belated birthday kiss
(Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttt………. Berani abisss gw)

(we kiss)


***********************


4 days later. 5 hours in the phone later

Immigrant by Nithin Sahwney

Him: I think I’m falling in love w/ you.
Me: I love you too.

Virgin No More


There you go. My first blog.

Just like usual, I'm always late in the whole technology thingy. Whether it's gadget, technology, whatever. I guess, I prefer the old school style. You know.. pencil and paper rather than PDA, using my cellphone just to call and sms, and ipod? If my Mr. Brightside did't buy one for me, I wouldn't even consider to have one.

So with this blog, I declare myself, a virgin no more...