3 years later...

... I am Married
... I live in Vancouver, Canada
... finished my MBA
... looking for a job
... live in 1 room condo

not so bad...
or is it??

The Summary

....of my love life this year

Guy no. 1
Jesus Syndrome: he thinks that’s he’s here to help everyone and will try to become a martyr for greater good even though that means scarification from the people he loves.
Well honey you ain't Jesus and your greater good is not my greater good. So ciao baby.

Guy no. 2
Peter Pan syndrome: he doesn’t want to grow up. He still wants to play with the Lost Boys and has Wendy to babysit him.
Uhm.. yeah… what about no.


Guy no. 3
Tragic Hero syndrome: a condition where he believes that he doesn’t deserve to love and be loved in return because he’s so fucked and he will drag everybody down with him.
Well, you know what they say. You will become what you believe. And sweetie, don’t take it personal. It’s not me. It’s you.

Guy no. 4
And now.. I’m reaching for the impossible.

Bad vs. Good Pick Up Line

First scenario:

+ : So waddya do this weekend?
++ : I watched Juno
+ : Haha.. bet you like it..
++ : I’m like in love with the whole vibe of the movie..How do you know?
+ : Because I know underneath that driven sexy career woman.. You’re still a Juno after all

Second Scenario:

+ : Wow.. did you see that girl? She’s hot man!!
++ : Haha… yeah..
She’s hot..
In a kinda…that you probably wanna marry then divorce her later..
But you…
Your hot is the one that starts wars




Any Judge around? Care to give a grade?
Simon? Paula?

Culture Education

What’s so Brazilian about waxing?
What’s so French about kissing?

Let’s make some sex lingo that shows our culture

We should make Javanese spanking
Balinese whip
And Chinese sex position chopstix style!

Negara Berkembang?

“Everything in this country is retarded”
Sambil menghentakkan kaki salah satu teman saya berkata seperti itu

“Strong comment” begitu dalam pikiran saya..

Jadi ingin mengulik apa arti dari kata-kata itu..

Retardation (wikipedia) is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills ("milestones") during childhood, and a significantly below-normal global intellectual capacity as an adult

Retard re·tard·ed (dictionary)
adj. 1. Often Offensive Affected with mental retardation.
2. Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed.

Hmm.. Jadi kurang lebih artinya keterlambatan pengembangan?

Menarik menarik…

Sesungguhnya saya adalah orang terakhir yang bisa berbicara ttg “retarded” ini..
Buktinya kehidupan saya yang baru 27 tahun ini membuat teman saya sempat berkata “Jen, your life is fuckin retarded. It’s like a movie waiting to be directed”

Beberapa hari yang lalu ketika saya dan teman-teman saya sedang berkumpul, beberapa teman pria saya mulai mendiskusikan masalah industry di Negara berkembang Indonesia ini. Setelah beberapa menit, sahabat wanita saya, God bless her heart, menengok ke arah saya dan berkata “Hey Jen, I’m bored. Let’s go shopping!” membuat saya berpikir “How far are we as a civilization?”

How far are we as a civilization apabila orang lebih mengenal Homer sebagai tokoh kartun di Homer Simpson daripada sebagai pengarang Greek poems Odyssey.
Atau dimana anak-anak membaca Crayon sincan daripada mengetahui sajak-sajak terkenal Chairil Anwar


And which one is more retarded, dimana perempuan dahulu berjuang mati-matian demi kebebasan belajar dan memilih.

Tapi sekarang mereka malah memilih menghabiskan waktu dan uang berjuta-juta demi kecantikan mereka.

Banyak wanita yang saya jumpai percaya.. dan benar-benar percaya bahwa hidup mereka akan bahagia once they meet the right man and get married.
Pernikahan it’s a whole other problem to begin with ..

Dan terbayangkah beban pria-pria itu bertanggung jawab atas kebahagiaan wanita-wanita ini?

Maka saya tidak heran apabila salah satu mantan saya berkata “Life’s a bitch. Then you marry one” and for the record, dia baru saja membatalkan pernikahannya

Salah satu sahabat wanita saya tidak pernah mengetahui bahwa Presiden AS menyatakan perang kepada Irak.

Dia juga yang pernah dengan wajah bingung bertanya kepada saya “Emang Hindu ama Buddha beda ya Jen?”

Suatu waktu, saya pernah berkumpul bersama teman-teman dan mantan saya (yes. I have many ex. Shut up).

Ketika saya mulai berdiskusi tentang salah satu dasar pemikiran seorang filsafat. Mereka dengan terheran-heran melihat saya.

Dan mantan saya, sambil memegang pundak saya berkata, “She likes to read.”

Seolah-olah menjelaskan mengapa saya, sbg wanita mengetahui hal-hal seperti itu..

G O O D N E S S

Hey, Yesus berkata “let he who have no sin cast the first stone”

I’m as bad as the others.. Saya menghabiskan 15 menit setiap hari membaca halaman depan koran dan mempercayai dengan hal tersebut sudah mampu membuat saya wanita yang bisa carry an intelligent conversation.

I should be shot and put to sleep..

And yes, I have my sins as well.

I spend way too many hours in front of mirror dan mempunyai pelbagai produk guna mendukung kecantikan saya yang memang pas-pasan ini.

Dan lihatlah kembali tulisan saya ini yang bercampur baur dengan bahasa inggris ini. Pramudya Ananta Toer pasti mencaci saya.. kok tidak bangga dengan bahasa ibu saya sendiri ini.. Padahal bahasa Indonesia disebutkan sebagai salah satu bahasa yang paling mudah dipelajari..

Membuat saya mengambil kesimpulan.. Yes. Maybe everything in this country is retarded. And that retardation is starting by no other than us

Lose A Battle, Winning The War

Whoever said that is not raise as a woman in Indonesian-Chinese family

Because no matter what you say, do or act

They make sure you loose the war, the battle or all over

And you are left w/ few thousand dollars medical bills to the shrink that trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you

You, Me and Poke Sushi

Disclaimer: utk yg membaca ini dan di juga berada di tempat pembicaraa, mohon maaf karena byk yg disensor dan disingkat demi melindungi pihak-pihak yg tidak bersalah

+: Oh.. loe juga baru putus?

++: Iya..sekitar 2 minggu juga

+: oh. Udh berapa lama jadiannya?

++: 4 tahun

+: Weleh.. beban loe lebih berat kayaknya ya.. kenapa putus?

++: Dia nyeleweng

+: Oops.. (dgn sok diplomatis nya berpikir that everybody deserve their own happiness and trying not to be judgmental) ya udah lah.. just try to get over her..

++: Dia minta balik..

+: Oh ya? Trus? Everybody make mistake you know..

++: And you? You made your mistakes?

+: hahaha.. you’re kidding me? Loe pikir menu di restaurant loe ini sudah cukup panjang dan bervariatif? Loe belum lihat daftar dosa gw aja.. mencukup dengan appetizers and desserts bo..

++: (senyum) Bukannya gitu.. yg dia selewengin bikin sakit bgt..

+: Emang siapa? Bawahan loe? Temen loe? Your brothers? (oh my god) Jangan2 bokap loe?

++: Gila loe!! Maksud loe? (melotot)

+: Loh ya.. yah ga tau.. abis loe bilang semua engga.. siapa lagi donk? (tiba-tiba teringat sesuatu).. Jangan-jangan.. sesama kelamin ya?

++: (menghela nafas) Yoi..

+: (uncomfortable silence that only both sides can interpret) Dang Dude.. Nama selewengannya siapa?

++: C***

+: Anjrit… G kenal ama tuh orang.. (langsung ngakak).. Bo.. percaya deh ama gw… kl pacar loe nyeleweng ama org kayak gitu ga worth it bgt loe pikirin..

++: Kok loe bisa ngomong gitu?

+: Just believe me ok.. I’m telling you as a friend..

++: Kayaknya loe banyak skeleton in the closet nih..

+: And between my one-time-launch dresses and unworn shoes, I’m surprised that it actually still fit in my closet..

After 27 years of denial
5 years of therapy
And too many issues to count
It finally comes true…

I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER….
(can somebody say yikes?)